How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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A jew enters a mall.

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I went out back to bury my hoe.. with a hoe..

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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The adventures of Helen Keller:

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

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What do you call a flying Jew? Smoke

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

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Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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