How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

A woman wears a dress.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

george goodburn is secretly mexican

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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