Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

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Ehh

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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