Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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what do you call a seagull that flies over the bay? -a seagull

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roses are red violets are blue i am black and so r u

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What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

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Q: If two lesbians are in a relationship, who makes the sandwiches? A: They both do.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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That was me, I thought we where friends now... I am so sorry, I really did not send anyone nor anything, I would never do such a thing! What happened to you is terrible, I did say I knew who they where and that they are in prison, but that was a lie, I just wanted for you to think I was really confident and in control. Please Nero, let me speak to you, nothing is like you think, Jenny is my stepmother, please don't do anything.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

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Why did the woman pay $5,000 for a gallon of milk? She didn't. She paid $2.99.

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Llamaworm

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

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What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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