An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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what do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? a surgeon.

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

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Q: Why did the kid get Christman presents in August? A: Because it was cheaper than chemotherapy.

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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three men walked into a bar, two walked out... One walked into a metal pole and died

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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