Q:Why did the old man die? A:Because he had Cancer in his hole body.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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Wha....You probably shouldnt read the rest of this because i lie a lot (This joke deserves lots of thumbs and comments!)

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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Why are all black people fast? They aren't its a stereotype.

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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