Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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What's green, brown, red, and is covered with crumbs in a ditch on the side of the road? A girl-scout who got hit by a car...

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hi

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Whats long and hard and women like to suck on them? A popsicle or long lollipop

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What did the pirate order for breakfast? Pancakes.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What begins with "F" and ends in "uck"? There are multiple words or word combinations that begin with "F" and end in "uck," such as fat duck, so you dont need me to tell you, be creative.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops