I? Everett

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

Why was Ethan talking to the potato? Because he is stupid.

Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

dude ur such a bon of a sitch

Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

Why did the gorilla have big nostrils? Because it was a trait passed on to him from his biological father.

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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