Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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A woman wears a dress.

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q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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21

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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