why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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