Once upon a time in a far away kingdom, people lived in it. The End.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

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Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops