what do you get if you put in a pan- a raw chicken, a lemon, assorted vegetables, onions, maybe some soy sauce, and a little olive oil then place this pan into an oven for around two hours, allowing the chicken to moisten. then serve with the assorted vegetable .supper.

Why did the man die in a car crash? Answer: He was not fallowing the traffic laws and therefore risking the life of himself and others. This may have resulted from the possibility that he was under the influence of alcohol, he was under the influence of drugs, he was emotionally unstable from a bread up, he was emotionally unstable from because of an abusive family, he was emotionally unstable from losing his job, he had an abusive childhood, he was emotionally impaired, he was high from lack of oxygen, he wanted to wear a blindfold, he didn't like his car, liked to spin the steering wheel a lot, he thought the gas was the break, or he just didn't like traffic laws.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

Whats funnier than a dead baby?... a dead baby dressed as a clown whats funnier than that?... A pile of dead babies dreesed as clowns Whats funnier than that?... that the baby in the bottom of the pile is alive.

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

Why do gay people go to the beach on memorial? idk im not gay

How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

what do you call an exited rectangle? an Erectangle

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

Where do you find a baby with no arms or legs? Where you left it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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