What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

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How do you call a half deaf duck? HEY DUCK!!!!!!

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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A Jew and a German meet by chance in a bar. They exchange pleasantries and order drinks. At the end of the evening they leave, having made a friend.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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Q:Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: he isn't because 6 and 7 are both concepts that cannot have fear like a living being

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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Ol-ive

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How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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2 men were friends 1 went to hell The other went to heaven

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A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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I hear Lebron has a new phone. He has it on silent all the time. It's because he doesn't want to disturb anyone around him while they prepare for important games in which he will be an indispensable part of, especially during the 4th quarters of the NBA Finals.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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