(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Two guys are walking on a bridge. One has long hair. The other does not care.

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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What Did The Farmer When He Lost His Tractor? "Wheres my Tracto?"

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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What did santa claus get the boy with cancer for christmas? Nothing. Santa is not real and thus incapable of granting christmas wishes.

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My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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What did the furry tweet when he went to a furry convention? A: I'm at a furry convention

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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