What's big, green, has 4 legs, and if it falls out of a tree will kill you? A pool table

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Why couldn't John ride a bicycle? Because he is a fish.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? after approximately 10 seconds of looking back and forth left to right the chicken finally came to a realization that the road is clear and safe to cross.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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What's Green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels

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What did the little girl buy for her cat? A box to bury him in.

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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http://suckmytriforce.tumblr.com

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Why did the girl run to school Because a lion was chasing her

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Radical thinkers have decided to end abortion they will begin to kill everyone who has an abortion.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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What's got 2 thumbs and a massive penis? A body parts collector I know called Harold Fortescue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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