Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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