Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A. Treadmil

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to my house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the Asian father want his son to be a doctor? because he wants his son to live good life so he could have a loving family and a payable job.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's a computer without Internet? A computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops