what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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