- Anti Joke

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

What happened to the twins? 9/11

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The bold and unpredictable female bird escaped under the horror of the fearful fence of which enclosed the innocent chickens. As she wandered towards the nearby city of magic and dreams she approached by a large, empty road. A mysterious, shining object in the distant caught her eye. As she slowly to a shivering step towards the intereging sparkle, she was ran over by a car. EPIC FAIL LOL!!!!

I know there are, its not the illuminati, its not reptilian shapeshifters, nor Gods politicians nor the human condition. Its society today as it stands, they did not have the right to attack us, but if we had surpassed them, they would have lost all power, they are the relics of the past, and no matter how many of them stand, they do not grow, and what does not grow, stagnates until it finally dies. Lose hope in people most all you want, but not in the few that truly believe in you for all the good reasons in the world, perhaps we are idealists, or maybe we know that with you by our side, what we see as ideals, is something you can make come true.

jumping jelly beans theirs a snake in my booties,, ooooooo har har ya ya youve got that one thing baby peace love and applesauce baby!!!!1

What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

Man: What is the meaning of life? God: Buffalo wings. Lots and lots of buffalo wings.

Ring Ring Hello? Click

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops