Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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A black man, a Mexican man, and a cop are walking in downtown New York. So are tens of thousands of other people, because it is a very large and diverse city.

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Peaches eat leaches, that is why sneaches live on beaches.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, With a penis so long he could suck it. He said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin, If my ear was a cunt, that’d be strange.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? The Light was red.

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What do you call a cow that is lying on a barn floor? A cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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