Why did the maid clean the house? Because that's her job, ya moron.

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road the chicken is blind and deaf and happened to wander into the street and got hit by a car and was instantly killed

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"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for christmas? Nothing. He was a jew. Jew's don't celebrate christmas.

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

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What Happens when you kill a dragon? Nothing, there not real.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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