What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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What would Helen Keller say to Obama? Wow Im really impressed that you are our nation's first black president. You're doing a great job. Except it would come out like DUUUUURNNNNNAFMKAAAALLLL

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

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What is wrong with black stereotypes? Nothing! Basketball is pretty fun if you try it!

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who else is on here?

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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What do you get when you cross rice flour,vegetable oil,corn oil,cottonseed oil,soybean oil,dried potatoes,corn flour,maltodextrin,wheat starch,modified rice starch,sugar and mono-and-di-glycerides,malted barley flour,wheat bran,dried black beans and salt? Pringles,Multi Grain,truly original

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I've got 99 problems and they're all stressing me out and causing me to be very unhappy.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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