A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? The Holocaust

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

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Whats green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Llamaworm

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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You wanna hear a touching story? Once a pon a time you died. The end. (all anti jokes posted by me will be adressed with -blarg)

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Q : What is the similarity between me and my friend? A : We both are crazy

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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