roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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How do you scare a black man? Burn his house down.

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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Q: What happened to the man who died? A: Nothing, there is no afterlife.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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knock knock who's there? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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