- Anti Joke

How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

aodhan hearty

What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

a jewish man with a boner walks into a wall what does he hit first his cheek due to the fact he was looking at an attractive woman

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

What's worse than being caught in a downpour? Having your kneecaps ripped out of their sockets.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

What do you do if life gives you lemons? Whoa... where did these lemons come from?