What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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A:Wanna hear a joke? B: Sure A: A joke

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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Why did the eskimo drag the seal into the igloo? Because the whale wouldn't fit.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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- What do you call a black man who drives a bus? - An african american bus driver.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Q: Buttsex? A: Butsex!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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