The teachers cat is a fat cat and his name is ... why do even whant to know you stalker

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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OH MY LUMPIN GOD!

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? Someone shot it.

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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Lucy laughed at the joke. Then realised she had gangrene.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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