Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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So a man and a woman are siting at the same park table Woman: sir are you touching my leg erotically Man: No mam for you see I am a parapaligec

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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why did the man get ran over by a turtle? he crossed the STREET

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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"Ask me if I'm a tree," "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Yo momma so fat, when she went out side in a red dress, everyone yelled "HEY, KOOL-AID!"

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penis. nuff said.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Whats round and bouncy? A bouncy ball

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops