Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

Why did the white girl lose the race? The girl that she was beating was black and her boy shot her. Therefore the black girl won.

what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

Q: Who was the best Jewish cook? A: Hitler.

when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

What is a jew in space? Dead

A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...