What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

what do you do if you get in a car wreck with a black man get out of your vehicle and exchange insurance information

How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

That awkward moment where all you want for Christmas is for your parents to get back together but then you realize that they died in a car crash

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

Roses are red, Bacon is also red. Poems are hard, Bacon.

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

Bare with me here, im gonna change this up a bit What's better then finding a worm in your apple

A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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