Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

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anti joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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So, a screw driver walks into a bar, and the bar tender sais "Hey Screw Driver" we have a drink named after you" the screw driver goes, "Really? You have a drink named Bob"

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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A man walks into a bar, he is then escorted to the hospital as a result of brain trauma.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others just don't

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a bus.

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What? I didn't say anything. Yes you did.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Knock knock? Who's there? John. John who? John who is hospitalized in critical condition because he was struck by a ladder.

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Why do depressed people like sharp knives? Cause there good for cutting Salad

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Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen Property.

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because seven is black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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