The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

Why was the little boy inside the house instead of playing with his friends outside? His dad just died from cancer.

Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

what do you use to blindfold chinese person? dental floss!!

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

Knock Knock The doors already open

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Dad, if I say shit or somethin... Dad: FALCOWN PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCH!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

what is the only thing in the world that can pick up 1000 jews at once? A vacuum cleaner

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have cancer, How 'bout you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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