What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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your momma is so fat that she should be worried about her higher risk of heart disease, diabetes, and ugliness.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops