What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

batman has diarrhea

What's the difference between a Lamborgini and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Lambo in my garage.

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

Uh... What was emulating again?

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

John has 37 candy bars and eats 36 of them? What does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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