Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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Q. What did the toothbrush say to the toothpaste A. Nothing you idiot there inanimate objects they can't talk

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Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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"Have you seen the food African kids eat?" "No.." "NEITHER HAVE THEY!!"

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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what is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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