How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Facilitator huh? Sounds like someone that kills someone standing in the way, or bribes off others.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: Why did the lizard fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the moneky

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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What do you call an arab ?

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

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Roses are red violets are blue I want to F%$# you with a rake

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roses are red violets are blue i like elephants

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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