Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

baskets

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

Knock knock.

who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

A man bets that his friend can't drink five beers in a row. His friend does it and says "See, I told you I can do it!" The man replies "No, I can't see, I'm blind."

What is Soulja Boy's favorite letter? I don't know. You go ask him.

Knock Knock! Whos There? Little boy blew! Little boy blew who? Micheal Jackson....

A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

Roses are red Violets are blue I like to slap hookers

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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