- Anti Joke

One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes Good. Enjoy your cold drinks.

OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What's blue and wiggles? A baby in a bag

"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

What did the flower say to it's friends? I want to kill a Christmas tree.

a man with a scar on his right hand walked in to a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x z y.

Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Whats the difference between harry potter and the Jews? Harry potter could escape the chambers.

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

What do you call a black jew? Overcooked

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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