Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse, confused, looks at the bartender with a bewildered look, neighs loudly, and runs out of the bar knocking over a few tables and chares.

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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A man is at the dentists. The dentists says, "Oh my, your teeth are terrible!" The man says, "Yes I know. I am addicted to Meth".

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a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

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What did the deaf person see? He was blind too, so he didn't see anything.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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What's black and white and red all over? A referee eating a red Popsicle on a hot summers day.

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Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

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Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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What did the Polish man say to his doctor? "Witam, doktorze. By?em kaszel z ostatnich kilku tygodni i jest wysypka na moim lewym ramieniu. Czy jest co? co mo?na zrobi?, aby mi pomóc?" I don't know what it means, either.

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Do you wanna build a snowman ? No.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Knock knock Who's there A gorilla A gorilla who? A gorilla is a ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabit the forests of central Africa. The eponymous genus Gorilla is divided into two species: the eastern gorillas and the western gorillas, and either four or five subspecies. They are the largest living primates by physical size. The DNA of gorillas is highly similar to that of humans, from 95–99% depending on what is counted, and they are the next closest living relatives to humans after the chimpanzees and bonobos.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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