- Anti Joke

Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

Knock knock Who's there? Jesus Jesus who? Jesus Christ, your lord and savior.

What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

how many niggaz dose it take to fit in al lightbolb?? 36 ahahahh yall deez nutz

a man walked into a bar and said ow

Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

i cant STAND cripple jokes

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

Why do black people like bananas? Because bananas have potassium which therefore gives them bigger muscles, which is why they excel at every sport we white people suck at.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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