Girl: I wanna get yo pants. Boy: but im wearing shorts.

how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

What's long and black The unemployment line

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

Your dad is so gay that he payed for a male prostitute to have sex and now your family is in ruins.

Feminism

Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled.

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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