How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? The Holacoast

so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

Your text.

What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

What happened to the soldier who go shot while fighting terrorists in the middle east? He died and had a proper funeral back in the town/city that he was born in.

A guy walks up to a midget and he says: 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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