Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have 5 fingers. The middle one is for you.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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What's worse than finding a worm in ur Apple? Finding a worm in ur poop

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two mexicans are in a car, who's driving one of the mexicans!!!

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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Q: Why didn't the blonde answer the call from her boyfriend? A: She had died in a rollover the day before.

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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When did joseph the deer learn to fly? - Never, deer can't fly

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What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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