What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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What do you call a black man with a knife in his hand? A surgeon.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he was greeting his new neighbors that moved in across the street. He was very friendly.

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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Q: How do Hellen Keller's parents punish her? A: They give her a timeout

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Your life

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops