why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Stolen property that you should return immediately because the consequences of shop-lifting can prevent you from getting a good job and might land you in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened to tommy for his birthday ? A new pear of shoes to put on. Tommy feet just got amputated. But it's okay... Tommy got a new comb. Tommy just got cancer. But it's okay tommy got a new pet dog... Tommy is abused by the dog I know what your thinking a dog can't abuse someone it was a cat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the black man get stuck to the ceiling? Because he was spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: How do you keep a carnival fish for more than a week? A: Place it in formaldehyde when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I once saw my grandparents making love.. that's why I dont eat raisens

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Chickens live on farms.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops