A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

Why did the woman stop jogging? She got mauled by a bear.

What's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? Getting brutally raped by a giant transvestite donkey witch.

Three women are seen walking while having ice cream. One of them is licking the ice cream. Another is sucking the ice cream, and the other one is biting the ice cream. One of these women is married. Which one is married? The one that has a wedding ring on her finger.

KARL KARASHIAN - FACEBOOK

Cheese

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

Whats more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork.

Balls

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The band.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a worm on the other side. And the more pressing question is why do i watch a chicken in my free time

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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