Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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field day?

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Why did the black guy sing? Cause he can sdf sdfsd f sdf ds f sd fsd f sd f ds g sdfgh fsh sdf h dfsg dfs g df gdfgdf g d yeah thats right

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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In your case, maybe because it is time to stop thinking so much, and begin living life, if the world cannot appreciate a wise man such as yourself, maybe that man should stop being wise, and begin being happy.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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