What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

Knock knock. Who's there? Nobody is here, nobody would ever want to knock on the door of you. Yes, you. You reading these awful jokes.

Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is in an abusive relationship and drinking her pain away.

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

chirs

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

Why did the genie not grant the man his 3 wishes? Genies don't exist, only vampires live in lamps.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

.der era sesoR .eulb era steloiV .sdrawkcab nettirw saw ecnetnes sihT .yrgnuh m'I won dnA

ring around the rosie ... your dead

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

What african eat for christmas Sand.

it was all Tagart

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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