Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like peanut butter Can you fly?

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If you call a quiz a quizzicle, what do you call a test? A set of questions or problems used as a means of evaluating the abilities, aptitudes, skills, or performance of an individual or group.

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How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy there were skid marks in front of the dead dog

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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why didnt little timmy finish his test he was eaten by a muslim rhino... .

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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Man goes to the doctors, He waits patiently in the waiting room for nine minutes and is then called in to see the doctor for a routine check up. After seeing the doctor he picks up his sisters kid from school and carries on with his day.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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