The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What green and eats rocks? Grass, i lied about the rocks

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

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Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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What do you call a black man walking down the street? Danger Approaching

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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What happens when you mix mints with fizzy drinks Blast off

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because colonel sanders was chasing it with an axe

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gingers

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A man was standing out in the rain and calls out to god saying "smite me god, SMITE ME NOW" and the man was arrested and booked cause a near by neighbor reported on the disturbance. he is now facing charges of disturbing the peace.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops