They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman wears a dress.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"I never want to see you again!" shouted Stevie Wonder to the genie in the bottle, as a young boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +8

q; whats small and high pitched a; rory johnston

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the teenage girl bleeding from her vagina? Because I had shot her in her vagina with my gun earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, technically speaking, chickens lack the capability to cross said road because chances are that it was a highway because highways cover 64% of america's roads. This being said, the possibility of a chicken being able to cross is is highly improbable. So to answer the question.... BACON!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Geeks have girlfriends...................... . . . I MEAN alien friends (geeks are losers and you decide your a geek or not)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than reading the same joke multiple times? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops