A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Knock knock ... Guess they aren't home.

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Whats worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bees stings? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings. Now, if you have been well-educated you should be able to tell the problem with this joke. Unless you know someone whos jewish and lived during the holocaust, you couldn't be sure if three bee stings was actually worse than the holocaust. If ou do however, thats good for you, keep it to yourself.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Why are anti-jokes funny? They are not because they have no punchline and if you wern't a complete dumbass you would have the ability to read the description on the right off the page.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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I was going to tell a joke about your mom's vagina, but that's overused.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

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What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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