Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Four men are stranded on a small desert island. The first of them decides to build a raft out of bamboo, but it only has room for one passenger. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouted to the men on shore as he left, but a band of pirates killed him in the middle of the ocean. The second castaway was more clever, and built a submarine out of bamboo and sealed it with hides of animals they had killed. He counteracts the buoyant force with sand. In this way, he planned to avoid the pirates by being underwater. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he exclaimed as he sealed the one person sized chamber of his submarine, but not far off shore, he runs out of oxygen and suffocates to death. The third castaway learned from the mistakes of the first two, and in spite of the unpredictability of handcrafted aerial vehicles, he makes a glider. "Don't worry, I will get help when I reach civilization!" he shouts from the hill top of the island as he leaps off and glides over the horizon. Though the journey is fraught with peril, he makes it back to civilization and is reunited with his family. It is expensive, but he prepares an expedition back to the island where his fourth comrade remains. It is worthy to note that on this small island, all the means of making shelter had been used up in the construction of the raft, submarine, and glider. The fourth castaway was found dead from exposure to the elements.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

butt bananan appe aeriugbahrei bviaAETRGNARJEOGBAEROUGBAREOGABINGBIFDUVHR9EH VARVBNF V BAR GABNER UGH 8U78 6 78 C 877 86IHUR T HUGU GHG HU GHUG ERHU; BGIU AHUB HOAU AOH;UGG RJHI NJB NBJ NAJF BNJ NJ IJ BB B NNB UB OH UAERFNSKALDF AHUAWRETFBSUGFHAUNVCHCIWERCFO4F[U940RU320RY4 33 4TVNO34INRT4`UR1C34BT4567=95084651898549+0451467016849=80 .97.8

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three Jewish men walk into a butcher. They dont buy any pork products and thank the butcher for his services.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding 2 worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so an apple walks into a bar... I'm terrible at making jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why was the cat naked? A: its owner was drunk and thought he was shaving his own head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Moral

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

c-? men, C-men

thumb_up thumb_down -9

whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Me and a pig had sex, beastieality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops