What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

What did the tiger say to the monkey? Nothing really, just a lot of growls and other sounds as he consumed it.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

Penis

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

13 =B you just learned something

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After a while, the bartender comes over to him and asks if he would like another beer. He says no and leaves.

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

What's sad about a black guy driving up a hill in a car? It's yor car

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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