The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why isn't Michael Jackson aloud at Disney world? He is dead.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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How many Pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1. and "pollack" is a derogatory term that could be fond offensive to some people.

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Why was little Tommy scared? Because he'd just been abducted by a psychopathic rapist.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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